[Rant] Where You’d Left Your Heart – The Originals 5×01

Warning: spoilers galore, inappropriate jokes, salty comments on certain characters. The gifs and some memes aren’t mine.

I’ve been fighting with myself whether I should write something for the season premiere of TO because I’m kinda deeply involved with a game right now and thus have had less time for writing (unless it’s fanfic), but finally the side of me that wants to say something about the new season wins, so here’s a few thoughts about the episode:

  • “Man, maybe because it’s the final season they’re going bold and bringing the violence and obscenity a bit over top” was my thought when I first saw the gif of Klaus eating a raw heart. Uhm… is that considered cannibalism? Not sure how I should feel about. Yeah, it’s cool but sort of barbaric and not to mention, unhygienic. At least cook it into some haute cuisine first. It is not cannibalism (thankfully) since he only bites into it and then spits it out.
  • Klaus le Fou  has a nice ring to it. When I heard it, I immediately thought of the character le Fou in Beauty and the Beast and was surprised why anyone would ever call Klaus ‘the fool’ while he is anything but. Then I remembered ‘le fou’ actually means ‘the mad/crazy’. Blame that folly character in Beauty and the Beast for acting like a silly minion for comic relief.
  • Sorry, no speak French.
  • The Salvatore school for the Gifted looks like some sort of pretentious private school where rich parents send their spoiled brats to and the kids are here to be involved in a lot of drama instead of studying. Damon would probably shake his head and say this in his trademark mocking tone if he were to see it, wouldn’t he? I know he would. By the way, he’s still alive and married to Elena at this time right?
  • I wonder about the tuition free since obviously werewolves aren’t rich.
  • Anyone else thinks the Henry kid looks like Evan Peters (of American Horror Story), especially when Peters is Tate or Kyle (because of his curly blond hair)?
  • School bullying. Talk about drama and drama will come. What are Caroline and Alaric doing in times like this??
  • Here I thought a school for the supernatural would be different than a typical high school.
  • Henry’s likeliness to Evan Peters makes his dumbness more forgivable. But really, there’s affordable ways of killing a wolf other than jumping out of the window and making a scene, like poisoning with wolfsbane, hanging or drowning. Someone should have consulted a suicide guide before killing himself.

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  • Seems like Hope’s gonna have a dumb hybrid lackey that may or may not be killed in a few episodes. We’ll see.
  • Please, no love triangle between Roman-Hope-Henry.

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  • At least Hope seems genre-savvy, which is a good thing.
  • Sending Hope back to the Quarter is big no-no. What is Mr. Saltzman thinking? Has senility finally gotten to him? Could they just have her grounded in her room and put some magic object outside so she couldn’t use magic to get out?
  • This begs the question how much Alaric and Caroline knows about Hope and the Mikaelsons’ conditions.
  • Speaking of Caroline, I still see her presence in this episode pretty irrelevant to the plot other than to boost ratings. Why should Rebekah call her, and why does she have her number after all these years (Caroline’s still using the same number as she did 14 years ago?)? And all of sudden they’re old friends?!
  • Guess some non-TVD viewers are arching their eyebrows and asking who this blonde is and why she suddenly feels compelled to lecture Klaus? (Keep in mind this is the first time Caroline’s been on TO)

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  • Nobody (namely Caroline, who brings up the fact that she was married and widowed on the same day) bothers to mention Stefan, who sacrificed his life so that everyone else lives their merry life. Poor dude. If Caroline had mentioned him then at least non-TVD viewers could have gotten the link between this Caroline character and Klaus. But asking Julie Plec to treat Stefan a bit fairly seems like mission impossible.

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  • My mildly negative opinion of Caroline remains unchanged since TVD. Just can’t get myself to warm up to her character. And this has nothing to do with the fact that I am against the Klaroline ship and think it should never happen on TO.
  • Anyway, moving on.
  • Aw, Marcel. His proposal is just one step from perfection: timing. Nobody proposes at the season premiere; on the other hand, if they do at the season finale, the success rate is 100%. Take Kol as an example. He had a ring made last season and now he’s happily married. With Davina Mikaelson. As the Japanese say, “Naisu!”

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  • Maybe Rebekah just wants to save Hope from raking her pretty brain to determine if she should call Marcel ‘brother’ or ‘uncle’.
  • Marry not your family, a wise one once said.
  • But seriously speaking, Marcel should have known Rebekah and the Mikaelsons in general long enough to figure out that none of them will be able to enjoy complete happiness once the family is still in danger. Even Kol implies he will be ready to come back should something happen.
  • I imagine Hope and Kol (and maybe Davina) have a lot of Facetime.
  • … while Freya and Keelin have little, and that’s why they’ve resorted to using magic. What if someone walked in?
  • Freya and Vincent have gotten over their conflict over the course of seven years, it seems.
  • Does the Klelijah ship need any more push since they’ve already sailed to the galaxy? What a happy time to be a Klelijah fangirl.

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  • We know it hurts, Klaus, we really do.
  • Rebekah immediately softens when she hears Elijah over the phone. Relijah is going strong too.
  • Can they just be united already and Elijah becomes his old self again?
  • Elijah playing the piano is a huge YES!!!
  • Seven years has really turned Hayley into a mature woman. No more hotheaded Hayley of the past.
  • That Declan guy seems decent and as per the tradition of this show, nice human guys who are oblivious to the supernatural world around them tend to end up pretty bad. And since Declan’s involved with Hayley, his death rate has gone up by 50%. Let’s hope he lives until the midseason.
  • Overall, it’s pretty decent opening for the final season, despise some small glitches. Can’t promise whether I will continue to rant about the new episodes but I will definitely try.
  • Most favorite thing of the episode: Vincent’s voiceover at the end

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