[Rant] Bag of Cobras – The Originals 4×06

Warnings: spoilers, ranting tendency, subjective opinions, careless language, inappropriate jokes, messing up the order of events

  • Well, it takes a lot of balls to attend a Mikaelson ball because as the universal law dictates, every time a party is held in The Vampire Diaries/The Originals universe, bloodshed is inevitable.
  • So bloodshed will happen. Eventually. At the most jaw-dropping moment.

2

  • Needless to say, the outcome of this supposedly merry event will be pretty un-pretty.
  • But not so un-pretty as the news about The Originals’ possible cancellation. Seriously.

eternal-facepalm-eternal-facepalm-facepalm-captain-pickard-demotivational-poster-1242264259

  • The news got me so upset that I did delete this weekly rant and considered stopping altogether. But then Elijah’s particular brand of sass got me recover this deleted rant.
  • Let’s get back to the episode.
  • The ice sculpture looks really pretty. Did Klaus make it himself?

Capture

  • So Vincent’s been holing up in his home to do research on the Hollow’s patterns. I originally thought he’d taken an episode off to moan Will. Turns out he’s been doing something far more productive.
  • Vinlijah (Vincent & Elijah) makes quite a good team. The level of sass has reached the ceiling and burst it.

3

  • On the other hand, Viklaus (Vincent & Klaus) brings fresh dynamic to the show as they’ve never worked together before.
  • Back to Vincent’s project. A couple familiar names pop up like Madame LaLaurie or the Axeman. Kinda reminds me of American Horror Story: Coven, whose setting is New Orleans. Bonus point: Riley Voelkel also starred in it.

american-horror-story

  • So, finally, Hayley’s backstory. Spoiler alert: Hayley’s dad and mom died.
  • Gotta admit Hayley’s dad was a real looker.

11

  • Still, why was baby Hayley blond? Does babies’ hair color change when they grow up? Anyone cares to shed some light on this ‘cuz I’m no expert.
  • Anw, the killer just left the baby there after murdering her folks? Odd. I suppose that was when Marcel swooped in and saved Hayley and sent her out of New Orleans? I know the guy has a code of never hurting children but this whole murdering thingy is pretty much wolf business and I’m surprised he even knew.
  • The scene where Hayley and Freya enter the haunted house and conjure Hayley’s dead parents’ last memory seems to be taken straight out of a horror movie. I honestly expected some scare jumps, which there are none. What a letdown.
  • And the lower jaw Hayley finds in the teddy bear is probably a homage to The Grudge, or Ju-on. Again I entertained myself with the thought that a stringy black-haired crawly ghost appearing all of sudden and grabbing Hayley.

13_zpsb525mywu

  • Then Hayley would probably punch it in the face and then all creepy vibes would be scared away and it’d turn into Scary Movie.
  • In case you have no idea what The Grudge is, American or Japanese version, just go watch it for the sake of being spooked out of your wits (or pants). Grace yourself with the splendid sight of the lovely Kayako crawling down the wooden stairs, turning her face and staring right into yours.
  • Urg, as usual, I’m straying a little from the episode.
  • Nice to have a jolly, very Klelijah chat between the brothers. Just like the good ol’ day. Bonus point is they are discussing murders and tortures as casually as normal people do grocery items.
  • Aw, Elijah offers to do all the dirty deeds himself so Klaus can stay the perfect father in his doting daughter’s eyes. I’m so touched right now, if they touch me more I might orgasm.
  • And we’ve got to see how Elijah stays true to his words near the end. Executing Dominic in public may not be his wisest move but it’s satisfying (for me) to watch. That’s the Elijah in TVD’s second season that quaked Rose and Trevor and Elena with terror.
giphy
Gif not mine
  • Still, it’s not his wisest move. So much for giving a false sense of security.
  • Speaking Elijah’s words, the man has some badass lines in this episode.
  • “I don’t bargain. And I’m done with reason.”
  • “Fascinating Neanderthals”
12_zpsazfgzqb0
Worst job ever
  • Seriously if Elijah opens a class on insulting, sign me the fuck up.
  • “The smell of fertilizer”. This guy’s so classy he doesn’t say “shit” like us peasants.
  • Love Vincent’s magic with the Tarot. Utterly cool.

15

  • So is the Vincent vs Dominic brief mojo battle.
  • Still, it has me wonder why Vincent’s magic doesn’t expose Sofya as she’s also in alliance with The Hollow.
  • Maybe because she shows up late and he hasn’t shaken hands with her?
  • Also why does he stop looking after exposing Dominic? There’s a chance Dominic isn’t alone, right?
  • Speaking of Sofya, her spike bangle is indeed a “monstrosity” in terms of fashion. The rest of her attire is more than fine tho.
  • That killer cleavage.
  • I’m surprised for someone’s been brewing a vengeance plot for centuries, she gives up the weapons so easily.
  • Kudos for JoMo and Taylor Cole for bringing out the sensuality in the dance.
  • Sofya’s backstory. But the true gem is Klaus’ extremely apologetic expression.

9_zpsigbpgsoj

  • Freelin (Freya x Keelin) ship is still sailing. Looks like Hayley approves.
  • Freya gets her hair and makeup done in record time. Must be magic. It usually takes me almost an hour or more.

14_zpsertbbfjy

  • The exasperated looks Klaus and Freya give when seeing Elijah’s execution are priceless.
  • Impeccable timing, Elijah.
  • “Let’s confirm with Dominic, shall we?”

10

  • On hindsight, shouldn’t the magic blade be magically locked? How are safes safe in the supernatural world?

Looking forward to the next episode, where Marcel and Hope finally meet.