One Tiny Problem – Extra 5

Disclaimer : Characters belong to their respectful owners

Fandom : The Originals

Rating : K+

Pairing : Kolijah – Elijah Mikaelson x Kol Mikaelson (sort of)

Genres : fanfiction, alternate universe, humor, fluff

Characters: Freya Mikaelson, Elijah Mikaelson, Klaus Mikaelson, Rebekah Mikaelson, Kol Mikaelson, Hope Mikaelson and many others

Summary: An AU in which Kol is resurrected by Freya, in the form of… a baby.

Inspired by whatevenkol’s idea and given permission to write this story



“Hey, I was wondering if you’d like to be my date for the Homecoming?”

Nathan’s heart was tattooing against his rib cage with every word from those lips. Those perfect-shaped lips that belonged to the perfect beauty standing in front of him. Seriously? Did she just ask him to be her company? She who was the hottest girl in the school, the Princess of the Quarter as they called, Hope Mikaelson. Was his luck that good or fate was jesting with him?

“Ar—Are you serious about this?” he stammered, unable to steady his voice, excitement rushing through his bloodstream like drug.

“Is your name not Nathan Marlowe?”

“I—of course I’m Nathan Marlowe!”

“Then one hundred percent,” she replied with zero hesitance, just like everything else she did. Hope Mikaelson was not famous by her gorgeous looks alone; she inspired affection in the guys and envy in the girls with her famed absolute confidence. To be fair, she had every reason to be confident: beauty, brain and strength also – nature had truly blessed the Mikaelson princess from head to toe. The fact that she was the sole heiress of that notoriously wealthy and powerful family – the shadowed throne-less kings and queens of New Orleans – only boosted her celebrity status in the school.

“O—of course I will absolutely—”

Of course he would absolutely agree. This was a once-in-a-lifetime chance after all; how could he let it pass?

“Not,” a third voice cut in, perfectly in sync with a baseball bat that wedged its way in between Nathan and Hope Mikaelson.

Urg. Nathan knew that voice so well he could paint the speaker blindfolded. The baseball bat was only an unnecessary fortification to his belief.

Kol Mikaelson. The Prince of the Quarter to Hope’s Princess. The bad boy that other bad boys didn’t want to hang out with because of three major reasons: one, wherever he was, girls would flock to him and the existence of other male species within the immediate vicinity would be sorely forgotten. Two, see that baseball bat? That was Kol’s mate for life, together with a temper that was wild and unpredictable as the dark creatures lurking in the bayou – they said there were still wolves there, no, not huskies, wolves, big as bulls and twice as aggressive. Anyway, back to the topic. The number of times Kol’s guardian, his older brother, had been summoned in regard with his disagreeable behaviors had exceeded even the years of the heaviest life sentence possible. It was without a shadow of a doubt that Kol had not been expelled yet was entirely the Mikaelsons’ influence.

And the third reason, also the most loathed, was times like this, when he just barged in, his bat in hand, to pronounce his ‘seniorship’ and drive away any boy that came near Hope Mikaelson.

“I don’t approve,” Kol said baldly, punctuating his sentence with a tap of the bat and his trademark ‘bad boy’ smirk, “as Hope’s uncle.”

Uncle. Nathan snorted. Didn’t buy that one bit. Though everyone had been informed on day one that Kol Mikaelson and Hope Mikaelson were uncle and niece, Nathan only thought of Kol as Hope’s cousin, and a very annoying one at that.

On the other hand, if Kol’s parents had had him as such late age, no wonder he ended up this twisted bizarre creature.

“Get lost, Kol,” Hope hissed.

Kol cluck his tongue. “Such language to your uncle, darling. Mom and Dad would expect more from you.”

Wearing a feral grin, Kol stepped up and invaded Nathan’s personal space. Invaded his territory. Nathan clenched his fists and hardened his jaws, refusing to be intimidated. “It’s you who should get lost, mate.”

“Try me,” Nathan challenged, his audacity boosted by his not-so-subtle desire to impress the girl.

“Alright,” Kol said gleefully, “let me inform you that in order to be Hope’s date, you have to ask for her family’s permission first, and that doesn’t include mine, because I’ve make myself crystal-clear that you won’t have it.”

“Fine,” Nathan agreed, taking small victory in Kol’s admittance that he had less to say about Hope’s dating who then the rest of the family. “I’ll ask her parents.”

“No, you won’t,” Hope objected. She glared at Kol with her fiery hazel eyes, made all the more iridescent by her anger. “If you meet my family, there won’t be even a chance of us going to Café du Monde, let alone Homecoming.”

“Relax. I think I’ll do fine.”

“She’s right, mate. Do rethink before you’ll come to them.”

“If you’re trying to chicken me out dude, that’s not gonna happen.”

Kol shook his head with spurious ruefulness. “Look, mate, I’m not even trying. Let me tell you about the procedure. First, you’ll meet Hope’s brothers. One owns a corporation – the Kingmaker Corp in case you don’t know – so impress him with your CV and you might get a desk job. That’s the easy one. Then, there’s the other who just loves to see how you fare in the physical department.”

“You’re so not going to bring Lucien and Marcel against me!” Hope seethed, grabbing Nathan’s arm. “Go. Forget his blabbing.”

But Nathan wasn’t known to back down from a nuisance. Plus, Kol had dashed in front of them and efficiently blocked their way. How come he could move so fast, Nathan had to seriously wonder. They said Kol was the best in the tracking team but he never quite bought it.

“On the contrary, love, they told me they’d love to have a look at your dashing Romeo.”

“Oh, I hope they aren’t so insufferable as you,” Nathan sneered.

“So wrong, mate, I happen to be the most fun-loving and pleasant in the family. Wait until you meet my siblings.”

“No, he won’t,” Hope rebuked. “And I don’t have to ask for your permission for whom I’m going with on Homecoming.”

Ignoring Hope’s protest, Kol glided past her to put an arm around Nathan’s taut shoulder. “There’s her parents, Papa-wolf and Mama-bear in literal sense, supernaturally protective of their cub here. They’ll tear you to pieces if you so much as touch her hair. Then there’re my other siblings, together with their children. I’m sure they would be over the moon to hear of you…”

Kol lowered his voice as though to confide a lethal secret. “…especially about your doing the hockey-pokey thing with more than half the girls in this school, occasionally more than one at a time.”

Nathan’s face turned beet-red.

“Huhm? Am I wrong?”

He glanced at Hope to find her raising a sharp eyebrow. She didn’t seem too surprised as he was afraid she would be, yet that slight arch spoke volume of disdain.

“You were spying on me, you stalking asshole?” Nathan growled.

Kol grinned. “That means I’m not wrong, am I?”

That was it. That obnoxious baring of teeth like he took pride in nosing into others’ business just pushed the berserk button inside Nathan. He pushed Kol with the strength of his torso and an attempt to hurt the boy. Hope’s uncle or not, no one could embarrass him in front of his girl and leave bruise-less.

Kol didn’t move an inch and Nathan felt like he had just bumped right into a brick wall. He was taller than Kol and considerably more muscle-built, so he was shocked to learn that with his strength of a football player he couldn’t knock Kol down.

“No need for things to get ugly, mate,” Kol said, grabbing Nathan by his collar, lifting him up with unusual ease. “Now you will go and you will forget you ever wanted to date Hope Mikaelson, as well as this happening.”

Kol’s pupils seemed to be dilated and for some reason Nathan couldn’t look away. Heck, he couldn’t find the will to fight back despite knowing Kol’s command was just so wrong as this incident and Kol’s strength. Then in an instance all questions simply vanished, and Nathan felt compelled to do what Kol said as though his words became the Ten Commandments themselves.

Then Kol let him go. Without so much a glance at Hope Mikaelson, Nathan left.

Crossing her arms, Hope watched her potential date flee from her like she was a plague. When she turned her eyes to her uncle, she had to actually suppress the urge to rip him apart.

Calm down. Count to three. Do what Aunt Cami said and it’ll be fine.

Granted, everyone in their family had to quench their need to rip Kol apart at one point or another, and that included even Uncle Elijah, who was renowned for his teeth-rotten sweet love for Kol.

“Not funny at all, Kol.”

“On the contrary, love, I think it was extremely funny how quickly he reverted to his violent-prone self.” Tapping the bat on the concrete ground to create some sort of beat, Kol added, “Did you know he bullied the hell out of poor Jimmy in class F?”

Hope raised one eyebrow, one thing she duplicated to perfection after having watched Mommy do it a thousand times with Daddy whenever Daddy said or did something eyebrow-raising. And that happened a lot too. According to Autie Bex, Daddy had actually improved tremendously as compared to the last century.

“All paled in comparison to what your ‘training’ did to him afterwards, Kol.”

“It’s called ‘tough love’, darling.”

Hope shrugged with a smirk, not buying it one bit.

“Like what I just did, protecting my lovely and vulnerable niece from that despicable parasite.”

“That ‘vulnerable’ niece of yours can rip out a man’s heart faster than you can blink,” Hope rebuked. “Admit it, dearest uncle, you scared away my potential date to get even with my shooing yours away.”

Kol’s grin turned feral as he leaned in closer. From an outsider’s perspective, it looked as if he was about to pull her into a passionate kiss. “Now you said it. I did have a thing for Angela and you made her think as though I ruined her Christmas ball gown and her nails.”

“You started it first. You know she’s my nemesis and yet you want to date her!”

“Since elementary school, darling. Aren’t you a little too old for that childish rivalry? Secondly, I didn’t intend to date her. I wanted a bite of her.”

“And I the same with Nathan. Now thanks to you, I’ll have neither a date nor a treat.”

“Even steven, little niece. Second, steroid-filled blood isn’t tasty, trust me.”

“Fine,” Hope huffed  “game on, uncle. Let’s see which of us will get a suitable date and which will go without one.”

“So,” Rebekah drawled, “you two spent the whole day ruining each other’s potential dates for Homecoming?”

Beside her on the couch, Klaus couldn’t contain his laughter… for the last fifteen minutes.

They were binge-watching the whole series of Game of Thrones when their brother and niece/ daughter stormed in, looking as if a volcano was about to erupt right under the compound.

Well, no drama was better than teen drama. Deanerys and her dragons had to wait.

“She/ He started it first!”

Their unison in speech was simply astounding.

Klaus and Rebekah exchanged a knowing look. Teenagers.

“Who started it first doesn’t really matter,” Rebekah said, “What does is neither of you has a date. Why not focus on that?”

“You know, sweetheart, I can be your escort to the party.”

Hope wrinkled her nose. “Dad, eww. Seriously.”

Klaus insisted, “I may not wear a suit 24/7 like your uncle Elijah and his breathen but that doesn’t mean I don’t rock in one, just saying.”

“Still eww. Plus, you will definitely murder any guy that comes in one-meter perimeter.”

Klaus couldn’t disagree.

“I can be your date, Kol. I haven’t had a high school party for years and I’m feeling kind of reminiscent.”

“Your last time was in Mystic Falls, I reckon, when you epically blew Elijah’s trial for being human?”

Rebekah elbowed him hard enough to send him off the couch. “No thanks for reminding me.”

“Thanks but no thanks, Bekah,” Kol said.

“Well, Freya’s coming with Finn.”

Kol and Hope looked at each other as though they’d heard a UFO landing on their roof.

“I haven’t a chance to know what a Homecoming party is like,” Klaus added, air-quoting. “And your aunt was resolute in her belief that she could pass as a teenager.”

“I’m going with Marcel,” Hope decided.

Rebekah looked as if she was about to object but Klaus was one-step ahead of her.

“Marcel’s going to The Strix’s annual party on that night, dear. Compulsory. Full stop.”

“What about Lucien?”

“Going to gate-crash it like every other year. Unless you want Uncle Elijah to accompany you…”

Hope made a face at that.

“Oh wait, he’s attending The Strix’s party, too. So dear old Daddy’s your only available arm candy left.” Klaus concluded with his trademark crooked smile.

“No way. I’d rather go with Kol!”

“Yes.” Rebekah’s exclamation was loud enough to veer everyone’s attention to her. She was beaming with a proud smile at her ingenious idea. “Perhaps you two should pair up. What’s better than the Homecoming King and Queen going together?”

Kol and Hope traded a prolonged look at each other. A spark of sort. Perhaps a realization. After a while, they both resigned to the same acceptance.

“Well, since we can’t just compel a random person to be our date,” Kol admitted, scratching the back of his head, “I guess we just have to make do with each other.”

“Good, problem solved,” Rebekah said in gleeful tone, not-so-subtly pushing her brother and niece to the entrance. “Now go buy some matching outfits. Got to look stunning if you want the crown, right?”

Once Kol and Hope was out of the scene, Klaus asked Rebekah, “Are you certain they’ll win ?”

“I want to return to our show, all right?” Rebekah answered with a shrug. “Teen dramas are just good at the beginning. It gets boring after a few minutes. But they’re the most popular at their school, aren’t they not? If not them, then who?”

With Rebekah’s assurance, Klaus pushed the tiny matter aside to enjoy Daenerys and her dragons.

The party was pretty mundane until Lucien arrived uninvited with a flock of obnoxious drunken exotic dancers (this year he actually compelled genuine strippers) and stirred things up. Returning home in an upbeat mood, Elijah didn’t foresee finding his little brother and niece, gorgeous in their Homecoming outfits by the way, sulking in the kitchen. They had been quite excited about the event, so he expected them to go home radiating with the aftermath buzz, not being two cluster of heavily focused glum energy. Did they just hit the angsty teen phase? Elijah was no expert on the field but he had had plenty first-hand experience during his short time as a temp history teacher and thus knowing this was the worst stage before their transition to adulthood.

Okay, he decided, if the next minute they started crying or going emo, he was going to call for help, scratch it, shout for help, whether it was as far as the bayou or just on the upper floor and buried in thick blankets after three days of binge-watching a toxic number of TV series.

“What happened?”

The question was formed in his mouth, chewed a few times to make sure there was nothing wrong before making its way to his lips, when it was halted by Kol’s statement: “We didn’t get the crown.”

And then Hope seamlessly followed: “Aunt Freya and Uncle Finn became the King and Queen.”

“It doesn’t make sense,” Kol cried. “How could Finn beat me in the popular department? Come on, he hangs out mostly with geeks and have you ever heard they attend any party other than Comic Con?”

It would upset his little brother even more if he were to tell the truth, so Elijah kept silent about the tiny fact that their older brother, despite common belief, used to be very popular with the village girls back in their human days.

“Aunt Freya isn’t even a student. I mean, why did they vote for her when her name wasn’t on the list?”

Ah, that must have been Finn, Elijah thought. Also, he didn’t want to point out that had the two of them not spent the day committing their petty vengeance, perhaps they wouldn’t have lost their votes. Yes, he had been thoughtfully updated by Rebekah and Niklaus.

Salting the wound wasn’t Elijah’s habit so he gave his brother and niece a pat on the head. “Quite an eventful night, wasn’t it? Who wants ice cream and the juicy details of how Lucien wrecked Tristan’s party?”

End (Maybe?)

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