You Hung the Moon – The Originals 3×02

Warnings: incessantly failed attempt to write a serious episodic review and spoilers, sprinkled with self-made memes. You have been warned.

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“The overture is over. The curtain starts to rise.

You’re suddenly in clover. You can’t believe your eyes.”

There’s Nothing Like a Show on Broadway THE PRODUCERS (2005)

After a somewhat slow premiere, The Originals has started to picking up its pace, which results in a generally intense episode in terms of actions and emotions. For those who complained that The Originals was boring and not on par with its parent show, The Vampire Diaries, it’s now safe to take back your words.

The title of the second episode is You Hung the Moon, which alludes to the werewolves in general, as their existence depends on the lunar cycle, and Hayley’s pack, The Crescent, in specific. It continues right after the previous episode, where Elijah’s littered the bayou with hunters’ corpses – it’s never wise to mess up the date of an angry vampire, especially when such date happens only once a month. As Elijah wanders around looking for Hayley, he comes across a naked and wounded Jackson, who some anti-Jackson fans, me included, hoped against hope was amongst the dead wolves Elijah found in the hunters’ trunks. Being the creator’s pet, Jackson of course didn’t die such an unannounced death – he’s back on two legs and extra-worried that his wife doesn’t show up like she should have. So, after having Elijah tended to his bullet wound, he and the Original vampire team up to seek Hayley.

It’s hilarious to imagine that Elijah, holding baby Hope in his arm, walks with a fully naked Jackson to the cabin, where the wolf can have something decent to wear. Did Elijah have to cover Hope’s eyes the entire time?

Somewhere else in the city, Hayley, the ultimate target of Elijah and Jackson’s searching quest, and later, Klaus’s, is making a shady deal with Davina to free herself and her pack. Heeding Marcel’s advice, Davina decides to teach the witch that hurt her earlier a tough lesson, using no other than the frustrated, furious and desperate hybrid. Needlessly to say, the result is messy. Aside from being a misinterpretation of Marcel’s advice, Davina’s plan is, let’s say, complete idiotic. Many witches present at the meeting witnessed Kara going against Davina and a few short days later, Kara ended up a charred body, amongst some others from her coven. A mere coincidence? Hardly. Bet Davina didn’t think it through when she planned her opponent’s downfall.

Killing off (innocent) witches allows Hayley to blow off some steam, yet it’s enough. Hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn, the old saying applies strongly to the queen of the wolves, who carries in her heightened emotions stemming from vampire blood. As she comes to the compound all tousled-haired and bloodied-faced, she attacks Freya with no mercy (and completely unnecessary) and immediately goes after the conductor of her miseries, Klaus. Seems to me beating the crap out of Klaus is more important than freeing her husband from chains to Hayley. Oh wait, he can free himself. Then someone kindly tell me, what’s the point for those chains in the first place if Jackson can easily break them???

21st-century supernatural custody battle

I’m not going to dig deeper in this scene, since it has already been analyzed over and over on Tumblr. It’s intense, it’s raw, it’s emotional and it helps cement my belief that Klaus and Hayley, with all their horrible temper, their blood thirst and their tendencies for violence, deserve each other. Keep in mind that I’m by no means a Klayley shipper, nor am I a Klamille or Haylijah. One thing I get from watching The Vampire Diaries (apart from some serious fuck-logics) is that every ship is possible and every ship has the potential to sink. At the beginning of season 1, I sort of shipped Elijah and Hayley; however, my shipping heart sank when Hayley decided that she should marry Jackson (that and her too-swift change of heart – one episode she claimed she didn’t love Jackson and a few episodes later she said she loved him). Then my heart was subject to another harsh blow when Elijah’s darling Gia was killed off. From then, I stopped shipping any canonical couples, merely going with whatever ships the show sail. Klaus and Hayley are connected by their giant love for their baby girl and if they manage to push aside all the terrible treatments they’ve inflicted on each other, they will make a powerful, invincible couple. Meanwhile, Elijah and the sweet Camille deserve each other – they’ve been getting along pretty well since season 1 and Cami’s strong point is that she isn’t judgmental, which goes well with Elijah’s mental baggage. Let’s face it, it’s getting frustrating to watch Hayley being in love with her husband while holding some lingering feelings for the man next door, sorry, across the street, and Elijah being tormented in a one-sided affection.

I noticed a trend to ship Freya and Jackson after this episode, which caused me to seriously roll my eyes. They exchange a few words, Freya touches Jackson to check the curse and later saves him from being a collateral damage in the hybrid fight, and that’s it. I saw none of the ‘sexual tension’ some shippers claimed (were we watching the same episode?). I also noticed a tendency to ship Freya with Jackson because if this ship thrives (and I hope it will never), it’ll serve either Haylijah or Klayley, which seems extremely unfair for Freya. Freya has been my favorite since she made her debut and it disturbs me if she’s paired with a man for the sake of other ships. And that’s not just any man, it’s Jackson!

Speaking of Jackson… Oh Jackson, how do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways.

Understand that I bear no grudge against the actor, it’s Jackson and his characterization that I hate. Despite being a former Haylijah shipper, I dislike Jackson not because he’s contributed to this unnecessary triangle love. I loathe Jackson for being such an ungrateful man, especially to Elijah. Up until now, Elijah has repeatedly saved not only Jackson’s wolf ass but also his pack. Besides rescuing Jackson from the burning house and the explosion, Elijah helped with the injured wolves when Francesca orchestrated a bomb attack. He then helped free the wolf kids from Esther and Finn and most recently, he eliminated squads of wolf hunters. Although he’s done all of these for Hayley’s sake, the fact that The Crescent pack in general and Jackson in specific owe him a great deal remains. Yet Jackson’s attitude hasn’t been very exemplary of a thankful person. As we recall, near the end of season 2, Jackson was very rude to Elijah, attacking him while Elijah only wanted a few words with Hayley. Sure he hates Klaus, yet had Elijah been anything but kind to him to deserve the blows and taunts? After half a year, Jackson’s attitude remains unsurprisingly unchanged. When insulted by Klaus, he instantly rebukes, “Because everyone here is so damn civilized?”

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This werewolf boy need be reminded that “everyone here” includes Freya, who has been nice to him, and Elijah, who has been tolerant and helpful (heck, Elijah bought Jackson and Hayley a house and preserved their wedding rings). Because this very attitude justifies Klaus’s calling them “savages”.

What do American Horror story: Hotel, Penny Dreadful and The Originals have in common? Aside from the romps with the supernatural world, all three shows have a white, smart-ass detective who unknowingly gets himself involved into cases that are bigger than his perception. In AHS we have Detective John Lowe (who other characters just can’t shut up about how handsome he is – he is indeed), in Penny Dreadful we have Detective Bartholomew Rusk (whose life we fear for since he’s on the ship with the werewolf Ethan), and finally, in The Originals we have Detective Will Kinney, who demonstrates his superior investigating skill by noticing the oddities in Cami’s family history, stalking her and… stealing her laptop. Seriously, this proves Cami is an angel for not getting furious. We all admire these characters’ determination and sense of justice; still, if there’s one thing we know about smart-ass detectives in supernatural shows where they aren’t the protagonists, it is their generally crappy fate. Having no idea how huge a shitpool they just get themselves into, they walk blindly into dangers, messing with wicked creatures that they, the human tokens, should run far, far away from. John Lowe’s fate is sealed when he walks into the Hotel Cortez, Rusk’s life is put in jeopardy and we should hope the actor’s popularity is big enough to protect Will Kinney in this crazy city where two gruesome massacres happen in a single night and a 1000-year-old vampire serial killer on the loose.

Finally, I want to talk a little bit about the prophecy. Not trusting the source, Elijah asks Freya to perform a ritual to test its authenticity. It’s true, and Freya delivers a more shocking news: the three remaining Originals will fall, one by friend, one by foe and one by family. Despite this new piece of information, the prophecy still remains vague: the Mikaelsons have a number of friends, countless foes and if we define “family” as “people related by blood,” that’s just about a few millions. However, there’s something we notice: it is Elijah who will be affected most by this impending peril. When he touches Freya to make her stop, the visions surge forth and we see his portrait splashed with blood. Some said this threat was not very threatening at all, since in the parent show, The Vampire Diaries, three years later, the Mystic Falls vampire gang (Klaus’s sire line) are still alive and kicking. However, it’s not Klaus that I’m worried for; it’s Elijah and Rebekah, especially Elijah.

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Speaking of Rebekah, I would gladly trade Jackson’s screentime for hers. Why the hell nobody talks about where she currently is?

Highlights of the episode:

  • Marcel and Freya’s being buddies. So Marcel’s problem with the daylight ring is solved.

  • Cami’s flattering Klaus’s ego to get his help. Smart girl!
  • Klaus’s messing with Freya’s chance of a one night stand. Nice move, Klaus, that dude so not deserves Freya.

  • Klaus’s complaint that Freya cannot comprehend the use of a cell phone. She used it just fine, when the caller was Elijah, who didn’t try to cockblock her.

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  • Elijah’s telling Freya that he trusts her. That speaks a lot, since in the last season he didn’t trust her. And Elijah shouts for her to stop when the spell is clearly hurting her. My Freylijah heart!!
  • Any Mikaelson brother-sister moments
  • And we have characters of Vietnamese root!! Kara Nguyen, who got killed by Hayley per Davina’s request and her son, Van Nguyen, who’s going to play a major role this season.
  • Lucien continues to be as entertaining as ever.

  • Elijah’s stabbing Lucien in the neck and calling him “My darling Lucien” right after. Plus, Elijah has better aim than Klaus. Remember how Klaus threw a bunch of stakes at the Salvatores and MISSED every single one.

  • Elijah’s deliberate mispronunciation of Lucien’s name. It should be LEW-SHEN instead of LU-SEE-EN. According to Michael Narducci, it’s his way of saying “fuck you.”
  • Tristan and Aurora in modern day. They’re both fine as hell.

  • Also Tristan and Aurora’s strong incest vibes

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