You lead a life of normalities: waking up, going to work, eating, drinking, returning home, sleeping. Just like that, days turn to months, and months to years, everything stays the same, nothing out of the ordinary. Except for one thing: your dream. Whenever you close your eyes, you have the same dream, unchanged as the rest of your life. In your dream you are chained. Metal. Each eye as big as your wrist. And cold as it bits deeply into your flesh. Just not as cold as the water around you. Bound, abandoned and condemned to look at the ghost of the sky ー distorted like a nightmare inside a nightmare ー through the thick layer of water with unmoving eyes. Yet those are the kind times; you should be grateful for them. True horror begins when the sun is out and the water turns ink, and you have nothing but darkness in your company. The darkness that promises terrible, terrible things with which the dark corner of your mind loves to play. Together they torment you, wreck you and you would rather burn in Hell than suffer like this. Oh, wait, this is your Hell, exquisitely tailored for you, for a sin you cannot remember. You are not entirely sure you deserve this punishment. This changes nothing, however, and thus your suffering goes on.
You dread sleeping. You have sought help in every psychiatrist’s office. To no avail. You have thought about freeing yourself from misery with the tongue of a knife yet always you stop at the last minute. You are no coward; still the very thought of being permanently trapped in that nightmare makes your blood curl.
Thus you cling onto your life.
There is no such thing as ‘ordinary’ in your life, if you could call that a life at all. Huge, heavy metal chain binds your limbs. It serves to keep you down there, under the water. Your eyes wide open, and you are made to gaze at the feeble sun through a distorted water mirror. You remember this is a punishment for a sin you can recall neither what nor why. This is only an icing on the cake however; the horror truly begins when the sun is gone. Feeble as it is, the sun is much more welcoming than the darkness that replaces it. The darkness conspires with the dark blotch in your mind and together, they conjure up an array of unimaginable things. This is your Hell, you have told yourself a countless time. You must have been a most wretched soul, and privileged also, to have a personal Hell customized for you. The thought never fails to light up your face with a smile.
But there is one ordinary thing in your life and that is you can dream, despite your eyes wide open. In your dream you lead a normal life: you wake up, you go to work, you eat, you drink, you return home, you sleep. A mundane life yet much desired ー you would rather have it a thousand times.
You cannot wait till sleep pays you a visit again.