The first post of the new year, which is predicted to be not so good for me. But let’s not be pessimistic here, shall we?
So I had a heated argument with my brother the other day. There was no winner or loser – we never came to an agreement, just like any of our other arguments – but I came up with a new understanding (let’s call it that way) and here I want to talk a little about it.
It seems to me that there is no truth whatsoever in human society; everything is one point of view or another. What I mean is truth, you know, ‘real’ truth, does exist out there. It exists in the sun that rises in the east and sets in the west. It exists in the stream that freezes to ice in winter. It exists in the ice that thaws when the weather gets warmer. It exists in the sand under the ocean, not soil, not mud. It exists in everything that has existed up till now and in everything that will continue to exist in another thousand years. Real truth is silent, but through one human, or several humans’, point(s) of view, the truth is given voice. And the voice that speaks for the truth is small, feeble and narrow-minded, a self-centered child who tries to impress a wise adult that is truth, who sometimes to satisfy its own egotistical vanity bends and distorts the truth. But the truth, like the forgiving and generous adult it is, stays silent and lets time to eventually give the answer.
That is to say, belief and even morality are points of view too. That’s why they’ve changed over time, taking on new forms, adapting new values while casting out the outdated, all to fit in with the harsh judgment of time.
Lately I’ve been obsessed with Anne Rice’s The Vampire Chronicles, which is why you’re expected to see a fair amount of posts concerning vampires and vampirism on this blog. I have a habit of linking whatever I’m obsessed with at the time with my point of view and this time, Rice’s The Vampire Lestat provides an interesting (and perfect, indulge my egotistical self) example. So, we have Marius, who is a 18-century-old vampire, telling the young, barely ten-year-old vampire Lestat the origin of their ‘pale and bloody fiends’ – to use the words from the musical. It turns out that vampires, who were born from Enkil and Akasha – the ‘Adam’ and ‘Eve’ of this species, were worshipped in the old days as gods and goddesses. Enkil and Akasha themselves created the myth of Orisis and Isis, so that they could hide their vampiric nature and maintain their monarchy. Other similar ‘gods’ were worshipped in Babylon, Assyria and many ancient nations. ‘Gods of the Night’ they were called and humans made sacrifices to them in return for their ‘wisdom’, ‘justice’ and ‘protection’. It was not until human’s religious belief changed and they turned to worship the god of the sun did the vampires’ influence faded and finally, when Christianity conquered, these creatures are deemed ‘demons’ and condemned to the darkness (which, magnificently, fits their nature). To emphasize the contrast in the views of vampires, Armand and his followers, who call themselves ‘Children of Darkness’ because they think vampires are slaves of Satan – another Christian point, are introduced earlier in the story so that readers can make a comparison.
So, this little mythology told in Marius’s voice (which in turn was spoken to him by an elder vampire – seriously, a vampire telling another a story is the borne of this series) illustrates my point: that perspectives speak for the truth, and undoubtedly distort it. Vampires were made gods and worshipped because humans believed them so; later, that vampires became evils (and have remained pretty much so till modern time) was also a result of the changes in humans’ belief. Vampires haven’t really changed from what they were made at the beginning: they need blood to live, they thrive on the joy of killing mortals, and their preternatural abilities serve no more than the talons of the beacon or the teeth of the shark – tools sharpened and perfected to hunt their destined preys, none of the ‘divine justice’ or ‘protection’ for which they were treated as holy beings. From the most ‘human’ vampire to the most evil of them, it stays the same.
But again, you can always argue that it’s only my point of view, which it is.
The Tarot cards say I’m the kind of self-centered, childish person who constantly demands attention from others, which I find to be true. This part of my psyche drives me to be very expectant of others and sinks me in disappointment when they ‘fail’ to. Promise is the particular aspect I’m talking about here. Frankly, I treat promises with high regard and I try to fulfill whatever I’ve promised to another. Can’t say I’m always successful – that is left to others’ judgement – but most of the time I manage to. As a result I’m terribly disappointed if someone makes a promise to me, sometimes in a surge of excitement with a (grievous) lack of consideration, and later fails it, so disappointed to the point I’ve lost most trust in that person from then on. It has happened before and it happens now, thus it leaves me questioning the issues I have with another human being in relationship. But I can’t help it, can I, just like they can’t help failing my expectation.
Who is at fault here, I wonder.
It totally puzzles that some guys immediately assume a girl who likes to watch movies is a devoted fan of Korean dramas, or a girl who reads vampire novels also worships Edward Cullen and his sparkling ass like there’s no tomorrow. Hello, there’s countless other movies out there, movies made with contents. The same, there’s countless other vampires who make Cullen want to commit suicide because he claims he’s a vampire, which he’s not. Talk about presumptuous nature.
Just me bitchin’.
Let’s talk a little about my recent fics (if you have any interest at all). I’ve finished the first part of an attempt to create a crossbreed of horror and humor elements, an old inspiration from a better-than-average horror movie I watched, which is told through the view of a…blind young man. My friend said it was good to challenge myself with a new style of writing and I thought it so. Perspective is what interests and intrigues me the most when reading. I don’t think I need to elaborate on how different viewpoints can dramatically alter a story, for instance, the Lestat from Interview with the Vampire and the Lestat from The Vampire Lestat seem two perfect strangers, related only by their yellow hair, their iridescent eyes and their sinfully good looks. So, I sort of want to try if I can write a coherent story with only what this blind young man perceives with his hearing. Well, if I fail, there’s always the second part, told from a normal character, to clear things.
The same friend complimented on my increasing sense of humor in my recent fics. Much as I want to please her, my inspiration is not so pliable. I’m back to my old, prevalent themes that involve dark,twisted characters who may or may not have mental disabilities (what’s the difference anyway?). Nicki, or Nicolas de Lenfent, is my ‘muse’ this time. I admit I’m a pessimist, and such is why I identify myself the most with this unfortunate, tragic young man, who didn’t make it past his 30th years of life. Though I’ve known and liked Louis first, I feel a fervent urge to be protective of Nicki as I don’t feel it with Louis – leave that to Lestat, that’s his full-time job; Nicki represents the dark side in me that I’m afraid one day may drown the rest of me. But maybe I’m only being dramatic and contradictory: who would want to protect such a fear? People may want to get rid of it the sooner the better.
Point of view again.
A few excerpts that brighten my depressed state. Wish I could share it with someone other than this blog with silent readers I don’t know if they even exist.
A smaller note before I stop rambling: the Lestat musical truly has some precious and hilarious moments, like every time Lestat sings ’embrace it’, he hugs Louis (and a lot of inappropriate touches follow); or the kiss Armand forces on Lestat before sending the latter to kiss the pavement never occurs in the book – take in mind that it’s Lestat’s POV and he might be too ashamed to admit that he was almost raped twice by a teenage-looking vampire.
Not that I’m complaining about the kiss, too adore it that the fangirl inside me squee uncontrollably.