Butterfly

A Saiyuki Fanfic

 Rating : K

Pairing : OC-centric

Genre : Romance, Angst (character’s deaths involved)

Characters : Homura, OC

Preview :  She was always beside him, yet he did not notice her existence. And never would he know she would become his companion on the journey to death.

“Only under this grey sky could her love soar.”

Gently, she took him into her embrace, his head resting comfortably on her lap. His hair, dark as night, was a stark contrast to her pure white robe, like black ink smeared on a brand new sheet. Her slender yet pale fingers caressed his face, his tight shut eyes, high cheekbones, tenderly, carefully, as if she was afraid her fingertips would damage a divine treasure. She lowered her head, her flowing hair fell over like a black curtain. Her lips sealed his and with that timid kiss, her never spoken love was conveyed.

However, he did not show even the slightest respond to her kiss. He would never.

Because what she was embracing in her arms was no more than an empty vessel his soul had already departed from.

She broke the kiss only to find her cheeks wet with moisture. A mixture of blood and tears escaped from her sockets, trickling down her face. Tears tasted salty and blood bitter on her tongue. Tears reflected her grieve as blood painted her agony. As they mingled, they depicted her despair.

She was in despair now. Such a cruel irony that the first thing she could taste was the taste of her tears and blood, the first thing she could experience was pain and despair. And the first time she had him, fully and truly, was also the last.

But at least, she could accompany him on the way to hell, or whatever was awaiting them.

Fate had always been cruel to them.

She had seen him for the first time in the vast garden of Tenkai, world of the gods. It was springtime and the ground was covered with blossoming yellow flowers, their color was a perfect match for his eye.

Everytime she saw him, he seemed to be constantly deep in thought. His eyes, always a dazed look, traveled beyond the horizon, searching for the border. Was he, perhaps, expecting someone’s arrival from the other side ? Or was he contemplating a way to break through it ? Whatever thought occupying his mind, it had separated him from his surroundings and so, he never saw her, never notice her existence though she was right in front of his very eyes.

She would not blame him for his ignorance. She was, after all, a butterfly. Who would notice such a tiny butterfly in a vast flower garden ? Though bitterly, she accepted that undeniable fact and found content in silently watching him from afar, never dared to come close to him no matter how desperately she wanted to.

They told her that he was a heretic, a child born from the forbidden love between a god and a lowly mortal. Hence, he was cursed with one golden eye, the color of blasphemy, and a sinful flame raging inside his body. If he ever touched her, that flame would consume both her body and soul, leaving not even a slightest chance of reincarnation. He, who was born with a damned fate, could only bring forth destruction, malice and death.

Despite those horrible facts, she was never afraid of him; in fact, what she felt toward him was profound sympathy. They were both rejected by their kind. He was only a demigod, a heretic, a shame to god’s race. She was a plain butterfly, a butterfly with no patterns on her wings beside a monochromatic white. To her kind, she, too, would be considered a heretic.

For a long time, she enjoyed his presence in the garden. Her heart was content with the sight of him and her mind found pleasure in their imaginary intimacy : instead of being a butterfly, she would be a woman, her hands would tangle in his hair while her lips would claim his and her body enveloped in his strong arms. Free of any borders, any prejudices. Only because of those fantasies that she could survive the harshness of reality : the uncrossable distance fated to be between them.

Those arrogant gods called him rebel when he left their reign to create his own world on Earth. Their pride could not stand such shame : having their guard dog escaped from his collar and bitten them back. They were furious, they wanted him to thoroughly suffer their wrath yet ironically, they could not do anything about it. They were , perhaps,  too haughty to admit their defeat. So, they sat on their luscious throne on Tenkai, cursing and secretly hoping for someone on Earth to put an end to his rampage.

Shortly after his descent to Earth, she also left Tenkai, being driven by her loath of the cowardly gods and her urge to follow him. No one would pay attention to the absence of one single butterfly. Thanks to that, her journey was relatively uneventful.

It was an endless garden of yellow flowers, the world he created for the woman of his heart. Unfortunately, that woman was never her. She was a minor goddess who had been exiled from the realm of gods to lead a short and wretched life on Earth, a punishment for harboring love for a heretic. The gods believed that she was a fool blinded by such mediocre feelings called love but she could completely relate to that goddess’ feelings. Had she been that woman, she would not have done differently. Because of that, she was jealous of her. Had she been that woman, he would remember her and thus, create a world solely for her.

A faint smile was on her lips as a sudden thought came to her mind. Maybe Rinrei, that woman, was jealous of her too. It was true that she was not able to love him the way Rinrei had loved, to sacrifice her life for their love like Rinrei, she could join him in his demise, could share the grave with him. That alone was enough for her. What could a butterfly hope for more ?

Love had given her the power she had thought she could never have possessed. It had granted her wish by giving her the form of a woman so that she was no longer invisible in his eyes. However, that gift came with a price almost unbearable : an unseen hole appeared inside her, slowly but surely eating her away. Each day passed and she could feel its growth. When the time came, it would devour her, both flesh and soul.

That was fine, she thought. Neither was she an immortal nor she wished for immortality. The fact that she could live for centuries was simply because Tenkai was free from the concept of time. A mortal could live as long as any gods if he stayed here, never to age or to die. On the other hand, if a god was exiled from Tenkai and stayed on Earth, sooner or later, he would lose his godhood and perish just like any mortals. He and herself were both mortal and they knew better than anyone that death was what welcomed them at the end of their journey. Still, they had done it anyway. To once taste the ambrosial sweetness of freedom and die was much better than to live forever in imprisonment.

Their bodies and souls had already worn out from the time on Tenkai and now, both of them had reached their limits.

The world crumbled and the ground cracked into huge, pitless holes. This land, once so beautiful, became the mouths of vicious monsters awaiting their prey to fall in. The world he had painstakingly created now perished along with its creator. At least it could serve as their tomb.

The sky turned into a lethal grey and she closed her eyes. Soon, they would lose their light. However, her arms tightened around his frame and no matter what happened, they would not let go. This way, she believed, she could be with him for all of eternity. This time, no one, no thing would separate her from her love. Not the arrogant gods. Not Rinrei.

She smiled her true smile as their bodies fell into the void.

End.

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