Insanity : Shiki’s side

A Togainu no Chi Fanfiction

Rating : M (for violence, deaths and innuendos)

Pairing : ShikiXAkira

Genre : Romance

Characters : Akira, Shiki

Preview : Their lust, fueled by death. Their love, covered in blood. Their insanity matched perfectly like two sides of a mirror.

Their first encounter in that dark, corpse-littered alley was purely coincidental. Shiki was simply following his routine of disposing useless trash when he saw that youth being outnumbered and cornered by those same trashes. He carried out his task, nonchalantly, cleanly, perfectly, as expected from polished swordsmanship. Fresh blood spraying and bodies piled up. Soon enough, there were only the two of them left standing in the middle of corpses.

Perhaps, it was fated.

Had he not been in that alley, the youth would have been dead. Had he not ‘saved’ him, those worthless thugs would have claimed his life. He would have joined the heap of nameless bodies no one bothered to give a proper burial.

He never intended to save the youth. Neither did he mean to spare his life.

Having witnessed such a ruthless massacre, the youth was slight trembling; his hands, his forehead were damped with cold sweats. He was in fright. After all, it was very likely that he himself was about to join the corpses, fallen victimized to the demonic sword. Yet, there was not a singe trace of cowardice in his eyes or the slightest pleading from his lips.

In Shiki’s eyes, he saw no human. There was only a young, weak beast being intimidated by the overwhelming presence of a much stronger one. Still, his predatory nature allowed no space for pusillanimity. If his life was forced into danger, he would bare his fangs. Even when he was fully aware that he might be killed, he would still fight. He would fight as long as the essence of life was burning in his chest.

The truth intrigued Shiki tremendously. Before he realized, Shiki had spared the youth’s life. This was the first time he had found in this dull, hopeless city one of his kind.

He, too, was another beast. The most powerful predator in this hunting game called Igra. Knowing the existence of a beast which possessed a great potential of dethroning him someday did not provoke his rage; in fact, it stirred up his curiosity and even ignited his desire. He wanted him, craved for him. There was nothing more interesting than taming such a beast, having it at your mercy.

His determination consolidated by his unwavering confidence. Soon, he would definitely capture that beast.

To tell the truth, he was not on the hunt for that beast the second time he ran into him. There were rumors about a Line abuser who had committed a massacre at a bar in neutral zone. A daring act, he might say. By such action, that Line abuser, whoever he was, had openly taunted the rule of the game. Arbitro would have already sent those rabid dogs to hunt for the culprit. Though savage and insane, they were not less useful than hunting hounds. Once letting loose, they would not come home without a bloody, terribly mauled corpse dragging behind them. If they got to him first, Shiki would lose his prey to them.

When he arrived at the scene, his target had already fallen. Those annoying hyenas were nowhere to be seen, only the young beast was present. In comparison with their first encounter, he appeared much weaker, much more vulnerable. Weapon not in hand, fighting spirit absent, he was quivering and crying in the pouring rain. Pathetic. Pitiful.

“You killed him ?” Shiki nonchalantly asked.

He did not get to the answer from him, whose mind perhaps had gone completely blank.

A wounded beast on the verge of insanity.

Shiki smirked. When a beast was wounded, he was easily tamed.

“Stand up !”. He commanded.

No reply. He kicked the young beast, hard enough for him to feel the pain. A soft groan, still, he remained motionless.

“I told you to stand up, didn’t I ?”

“You’re called Shiki, right ? Go ahead, do whatever you want. I don’t give a damn.”

So he wanted death. Overwhelmed with the guilt of murder, he chose death as an escape from remorse. By giving up his own life, he assured himself that was enough to atone for his sin. That was something only cowards would do. Due the first impression the young beast had given him, Shiki believed he was no coward. He just grew temporarily weak by the impact of his conscience that he was drawn to suicide. Therefore, Shiki would not grant him that wish. Besides, Shiki had no intention in assisting self destruction. There was neither benefit nor fun to gain from killing a man who was so eager to welcome death.

Instead, he had other things in mind.

He let out a startled sound when Shiki bent down and scoped him in his arms. As soon as their bodies got into contact, the vigor which had previously absent in the limp body suddenly ignited. Kicks and punches went flying wildly, lacking all the precision a fighter would have if he earnestly wanted to defeat his enemy. The impact of the fight prior had drained off his strength. The seemingly returned vigor was only what was left in his exhausted body, the blaze of a dying ember before its extinguishment. Even in his full condition, he was no match for Shiki, let alone this weakened state. It was useless, futile but Shiki liked it. It would not be interesting if he gave up without a fight.

The rain bore no sight of calming down and the figure in his embrace gradually ceased its struggle. Shivering, he began to cling onto Shiki’s coat, desperately seeking for warmth. Right now, his physical demands had surpassed his defense system. His first sign of submittal.

“What’s your name ?”

A moment of hesitation. The beast was surprised when hearing his name being asked. His confusion was understandable; after all, this was the first time his ultimate master asked a question like that. Such trivial matter seemed to never cross his master’s mind even after such intimacy they had shared. Could his master be blamed ? In the end, he was only a property. It was unnecessary to know how it was called as long as it remained in your possession.

“Say it !”



He repeated the name so that its sound got used to his ears. A good yet common name, no special. There were probably thousands other “Akira”s in this country. Nevertheless, when this name was bestowed upon him, it seemed strangely fit.

Shiki thought he had already taken a liking to that name.

“And your name ?”


Shiki was momentarily off guard. He had thought Akira who hated him to the core as he had claimed every time Shiki forced him to bend over would not care to know Shiki’s name.

“Tell me.

“Haven’t you known it already ? From those nuisances.”

“I want to hear it from your own mouth.”

He never ceased to amuse Shiki.



Akira repeated the name the same way Shiki had done previously.

“A normal name that thousands others could share. I’ve been convinced that your name would be something more special. Still, it suits you. I like it.”

“It doesn’t matter whether you like my name or not. It won’t affect the truth that I’m your master for all of eternity. There’s no way you can escape.”

“I know.” Akira replied with a smile whose meaning he could not decipher. Since the day he had forcefully dragged Akira to this rundown room, confined him and sought to gain control over him every night, he had never seen the slightest of Akira’s smile. He had a reason to believe that Akira would never show him his smile. Yet today, upon hearing the declaration Shiki had made perhaps dozens times before, Akira’s lips curled into one.

His smile was indeed charming. Innocent, naïve, contrastingly different from Shiki’s sadistic smirks.

“I’m already tired of struggling between rejecting and accepting you. So I’ve decided…”

Akira left the sentence dangling to pull Shiki into a surprise kiss. Though he was caught off guard, Shiki quickly resumed his absolute control. He was, after all, the master.

“But remember, even when I give myself to you, I will continue to oppose you till the end.”

His promise did not fade over time. Though he wholeheartedly complied with his wishes, Akira was never an obedient pet. There, inside the boy, existed a wild part that was unable to be tamed. On bed of off bed, Akira would occasionally, purposely allow it to surface and challenged Shiki. Shiki had no complaints, however. In fact, he fancied Akira’s personality. Shiki was a fierce predator. The stronger the opponent, the more enjoyable. It would bore him to the point of death if his preys were all but cowards who pathetically begged him to spare their lives even when they fully knew it was the most absurd of all absurdities. In comparison with those gutless small fries he had encountered, Akira was fascinatingly courageous. His somewhat reckless braveness was a stark contrast to Shiki’s intimidating personality yet it was also a perfect fit. With Akira, both Shiki’s pride and conquering nature were satisfied. Because of that, he could never grow tired of Akira.

He may even love him.

The wounds on his back ached slightly. Instead of irritation, their sensation felt rather pleasant. Pain, with an appropriate portion, heightened the ecstasy. He had learned of that fact when piercing Akira’s naval. The pain and blood oozing out had turned Akira on. While watching that, he had also learned that Akira was absolutely not the type that favored gentleness. Violence and dominion were what needed to make him submit. Shiki understood that because he was no difference from Akira. Children like them grew up not by the loving tenderness of the mother’s hand but by the severity of the war. Before they knew of the warmth of an embrace, they had been flung out to the harshness in which they learned the hard way the rule of survival. It was simple : fight and kill or be killed. In this environment, there was no room for love, forgiveness, care and such. Those were alien to them. Violence, killing, blood and pain were they factors that had shaped and nourished them.

Without those, they would be utterly starved. In the end, they lived on while embracing their own madness.

Perhaps, madness was the necessary condition to survive in the chaos known as Toshima. Once the capital of Japan, it now fell into the black-pit hole of crimes, drugs and murders. There were neither government to govern nor laws to protect the inhabitants, each and every one relied on themselves to carry on with their lives. The strong lived, the weak died. The strong ruled, the weak obeyed. The one who rose to the top of this insanity was the strongest of the strong. Each day passed as he seated on his throne, his subordinates under his soles, Shiki could tell his madness was growing stronger and stronger in his heart. Still, he was not bothered in the slightest. If madness was the key to survive, to live, then he would not mind if it threatened to overwhelm his mind.

Again, who living in this world was able to keep his sanity intact ?

In this castle, there were plenty of fools who desperately wanted Akira. Shiki was fully aware of the fact that his beloved pet was the subject of their lust and did not mind it. Actually, it was kind of fun to watch them display their hopeless stupidity by falling right into the lethal temptation. It was nothing but a game of Akira. Confined in such a luscious cage, if there was no form of entertainment to kill the time while Shiki was not here to keep him company, he might as well die of boredom. As long as it did not turn into something other than a game, he would allow Akira to play to his heart’s content. He might even join it if Akira wished so. Since they shared a predatory nature, they both longed for hunting and killing. Therefore, he understood Akira’s motif when setting such a game, as well as his joy. The joy of preying, if you were not a predator, you could never enjoy. They were two of a kind yet they were different. There were two main types of predators : one used his strength to fiercely attack and killed his preys; the other took time to prepare a trap and lured his preys in. In this hunting game, Shiki was the former while Akira was the latter. Together, they were an inseparable pair.

The blood-smeared ground of Toshima was the perfect platform from which they deprived their sadistic pleasure.

That boy’s name was Ryunosuke. He remembered being told once or twice. Really, there was nothing special about that boy in appearance; a youthful countenance, neither good-looking nor hideous; tall and lean form; eyes brimming with hope and aspiration; all the features too common in a youth who had just passed adolescence. Perhaps he was the kind that had yet to see the cruelty of this world; because of that, insanity temporarily spared his mind. Still, it was only a matter of time until he sank and drowned in the depth of Toshima, until he was engulfed by the darkness of his own insanity.

He was a nice and obedient boy, though. There were times when Shiki caught the boy gazing at him with eyes sparkling with admiration. It was fascinating to find a person who did not tremble when looking at his red eyes. Up until now, there had only been his foolish brother and Akira that were not terrorized by his killing look. But Ryunosuke was different from Rin and Akira. Akira opposed him, challenged him with his wild, untamed nature while Ryunosuke unconditionally, wholeheartedly obeyed his every orders. Indeed, he was far better than those cowardly small fries he had killed; yet he did not have the crucial charm that only Akira possessed to interest him. To the beast that was Shiki, he was merely a tail, never qualified as a partner.

Ryunosuke was a nice and obedient boy and undoubtedly an unfortunate one. Akira had also taken interest in this particular guy, but it was not in the positive way as Shiki did. It was not really hard to notice the flame in Akira’s blue eyes whenever Ryunosuke appeared in his sight or Shiki happened to mention his name. It could be qualified as jealousy, Shiki guessed. Being a beast as he was, Akira could not tolerate someone’s invasion of his territory, stealing his master’s attention. When it came to possessiveness, Akira did not fail to prove his wicked ruthlessness. His seduction was not less lethal than the edge of Shiki’s katana, maybe even more. It allowed its victim to taste just one lick of sweetness and delight and then, in a mere second, crushed it all together, throwing the victim straight into the bitterness of despair. Shiki’s katana did not give its preys false hope, Akira’s poison did. Therefore, in this game, Akira was the more brutal one.

In the end, Ryunosuke was not so different from those who had fallen victimized to Akira’s trap. Unable to resist the temptation, he proceeded to taste the forbidden fruit without knowing he had signed his owned death sentence. Pathetically foolish. When his katana sliced off Ryunosuke’s head, Shiki almost felt sorry for the boy. Almost.

“Blame your own foolishness on your way to Hell.”

Shiki inwardly muttered that thought when he sheathed his katana. His strike had reached the peak of perfection in which the victim’s blood failed to cling to the edge. Though it appeared clean and shining, there existed invisible taints that could never be wiped off, proof of those unfortunate souls fallen to this katana. A killing sword in a murdering hand; there was no better combination.

Akira gave him an enchantingly sweet smile as he welcomed Shiki into his embrace. Only Shiki, the true master of Akira, deserved the love and loyalty of this menacing beast. As blood stopped flowing from Ryunosuke’s severed neck, the pair once more engaged in their sinful desire.

That smile, those lips, that body; those were worthier than a mountain of corpses. For Akira he would willingly give his everything.

If Akira craved for pleasure, he would spend all night giving Akira what he wanted until he could take no more.

If Akira lusted for blood, more lives would fall to his sword.

If Akira wanted to continue the game, he would play with him until the very end.

Because, their insanity matched each other like two sides of the mirror.


Note : That’s the end of the end of the second part, based mainly on Shiki’s POV. Seriously, writing this fic was both a joy and a burden since I kind of get used Shiki and Akira (mostly Akira) in the true ending. There were times that I got stuck with the characters. I wanted them to be least ooc as possible so it took me a while to figure out what they would probably think in some situations. It was a real challenge to get into their insanity and tried to portray it as best as I could. Hope I didn’t make a mess out of it 😀

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